The Perfect Man

ATTENTION: MOVIE SPOILERS IN THIS BLOG POST
        I have spent the entire day on my couch with my puppy going between watching movies on ABC Family and reading this horrid book on my kindle.. As I watch these perfect characters get the loves of their lives, I take a step back and reevaluate exactly what I want in a guy. Each man brings out a different side of me, a different longing in my heart. As I contemplate exactly what would be perfection in a man, I think of the two different ways this could be interpreted. Physically being perfect is not the same thing as being a perfect person in terms of personal traits and characteristics. I'm not a shallow woman who wants someone who is completely buff and athletic, yet I am not blind to the attractive looking man. As I sigh over the perfect traits in each character of the movies I watched today, I started a mental list of each trait I would adore. The first movie on today that I had the opportunity to watch the whole thing was Nicolas Sparks' "A Walk To Remember" with Mandy Moore. Not only is this movie fantastic by itself, but I was brought back to my own high school years and remembering all the wonderful qualities I found in my high school sweetheart. I looked at Landon's character as a whole and imagined myself in Jaime's shoes. I absolutely adore that Landon didn't take off when the sign of trouble came. He stuck by Jaime's side and did everything he could to make her dreams come true. The fact that he is cute didn't even come up in my brain until later in the movie, all I could think and swoon over was his ability to take on the challenge of loving someone with Lukemia. He was so sweet and gentle with her, always respecting the fact that she didn't want anything physical. That definitely earned points in my book. The next movie that ABC Family played was "The Last Song" (another Nicolas Sparks' novel.)Liam Hemsworth has always been a favorite of mine, looks and acting wise, however his character of Will played with my heart string as well. When Ronnie was losing her dad, he never left, took care of her little brother and became her rock. He helped her with the sea turtles and turned her life from that of crime and anger to one filled with love and helped her see that she loved her dad. He also kept pursuing her in the beginning.. which I loved! Like Landon from "A Walk to Remember", he did not leave when troubling times came about (atleast until Ronnie told him to) and they still found their way back to each other! So I think it is safe to say that I find that important in a man.. I want someone who won't run at the first sign of difficult times.
          The third movie today was again another Nicolas Sparks novel.. "The Notebook".  The redeeming quality I found in Noah is his ability to be goofy.. other than that I don't find him attractive personality wise... Ryan Gosling is still extremely good looking though. Adding that quality to the list, I looked for another guy that has a sense of humor and found myself looking to Gerard Butler's character in "The Ugly Truth" with Katherine Heigl. He is so dashingly handsome (which is not the right way to describe his character in this movie..) and I just found myself wanting to know more about his character.  Speaking of Gerard Butler, his performance in "P.S. I Love You" is absolutely heartbreaking. If I could take anything from that character, it would be that he made sure to take care of his wife, even into death.  Which brings me to the character of Jack Dawson, from "Titanic".  Naturally, most who watch this movie swoon at the thought of Leonardo Di Caprio sweeping them off their feet. Jack Dawson brings Rose out of her shell and gives her a wake up call to the fact that she doesn't need to live in fear of her husband and can give into her urge for adventure. I would take that trait from him. The ability to believe in someone and help them out of their shell or skewed version of what society expects of them. Someone who can teach me how to live and how fantastic life can be.  Next on my list would be Mr.Darcy from Jane Austen's timeless classic "Pride and Prejudice".   He is a respectable man, which I admire, but not as much as I admire the effort he made to correct all his wrong doings. It takes courage to do that and strong morals. He could have left it all alone, but he has a conscience. I would want a man who has a sense of morals and knowing what is right and what is wrong.
          In "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days", Benjamin Berry is not exactly the quote "ideal" man to me. However, I do enjoy his ability to argue back and he is not completely passive aggressive. I would look for a man who isn't afraid to argue back and will actually fight for his beliefs and go after the woman he loves  ( like in the end when he takes thier love fern and chases her taxi on a motorcycle!) My thoughts now move onto "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and how Ian accepts Toula and her family, even willing to change his religion in order to be with her. This warms my heart because he is willing to put up with so much to marry her and he is so kind.
         I have not only taken movies into consideration at this point, but also find that the romance novels I read have taken a toll on my image of the perfect man. As images of strong cowboys and illusive pirates enter my brain, they all generally have similar traits.. protective, strong, handsome and a way of saving the day. I realize this is quite silly to base my expectations off of, but this is always the image I have had for the man I want to someday call my own. I guess in my mind someone who is strong and protective, yet kind and wanting to be accepted by my family is something I value dearly. He would be strong and be able to argue his own side and stand up for himself, be goofy with me and want to go on adventures. Someone who will be supportive and take me by the hand saying ' let's go, the world's opinion doesn't matter, I believe in you' and would stick by my side through thick and thin. Maybe finding someone who is perfect is... unrealistic.
        At the end of the day, I know that there truly is no such thing as perfect. Finding someone with all of these qualities would be amazing, but in the end what actually matters is love. When you love someone, their flaws don't matter anymore and they are perfect in your eyes.  Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. I hope to find that again someday. I know that when I do, it will be truly magically and wonderful. I have my whole life ahead of me to find that, but for now I am content to dream and swoon over the men in movies and my books.

Inspirational Quotes

So, here are some of the inspirational quotes I found on pinterest, I hope they do the same for you that they did for me!

Source: pin4fun6359.blogspot.com via Michelle on Pinterest

Source: pinklemonadedesign.blogspot.ca via Michelle on Pinterest

Source: etsy.com via Michelle on Pinterest

Source: 28.media.tumblr.com via Michelle on Pinterest

Source: fallinlove-withdisney.tumblr.com via Michelle on Pinterest

I hope these make you're day or give you something to ponder!

So much yet to learn

         Tonight, as I lay in my own bed and ponder whatever seems to pop into my brain, I begin to think of how exciting the future is. I have been enjoying (or wasting...) time on pinterest, repinning different inspirational quotes that seem to be very similar to my own life right now. I realized a few days ago that I need to love myself. Not necessarily change myself, but to just feel love. I started by changing my pinterest board for workout routines (that I never do...) from Need to be Skinny to something quirky and cute like the lyrics " Let's get physical, physical". Changing the objects around me to be more positive toward my own image is my first step towards loving myself. I also have found that when I begin to feel bad about something, I am stopping myself and saying "no, not today. today, I am happy and beautiful".  Another step towards self love. I realize that multiple times a day with friends or even by myself I put my own body or quirks down. . Such as last night I said " Oh my god, I'm so weird, you'll have to introduce me as that weird girl who is obnoxious". That needs to change. The more I say it, not only will I, myself, be more likely to believe it, but those around me will as well. I've always been the type of girl who is insecure in her surroundings. When in a large group, who I feel is "better" than myself, I always worry about how I come across. Am I obnoxious? Annoying? Do I smell? Is my face okay today or am I a total red, pimple-ly mess? I find myself going to say... snap chat someone or tweet at someone and then I stop myself, so I don't become annoying. This too, must change. I understand that this is such a hard time in life, but it is also the best and most exciting, wild part of life as well. I long to be carefree, but by longing for these things and not making them happen myself, I keep my mind from achieving the ultimate peace with my body and my personality. I tell myself all the time that "today will be the day that I will be awesome" and then the same insecure thoughts pop into my head. 2013, you have brought me so many realizations and it is only the third day.  I looked in the mirror this morning and thought of ways to make myself "prettier", then stopped myself. Who will think I am beautiful and amazing and wonderful, if I don't myself? I found the face in the mirror answering back, " you need to fix this and this and this and this". In reality, however, I don't need to fix these little things, such as my face breaking out, or my nail polish being chipped.  Life is way too short to be spent worrying over the little things. Tonight, as I devoured the repins on my dashboard for Pinterest, I saw many quotes that were so inspiring and put them onto my board called "Inspiration".  I think that I may create a new board and label it "loving myself" and begin a new path in my life.

      I have decided (just now actually) that I want to change my way of thinking. I have been thinking of all the things that make me feel good inside and good memories. For example.. a group of friends and I got together to watch the "scary" movie Jack Frost. (it is a very lame movie, in case you were wondering). I had spent the day making sugar cookies and decided to take some with me, and everyone loved them, making me feel really good about myself. On NYE, girls that went to my high school and that I have never had much contact with told me I looked beautiful in the dress I specifically bought the day before. My best friend has been taking the time to send me long, wonderful quotes to help me feel better about myself (if you're reading this, I love you!). There are so many things to be thankful for in life, it just takes a little reminder sometimes to put you on the right track.
   So, as I continue to type this long (my apologies!) post to all of you, I sit back and wonder.. what do I really love about myself? It is about time I find that out.
         I have always said "Everything happens for a reason", and I have ALWAYS believed that. Lately that statement has changed to " God has a reason". In finding myself this year, I have also found God. In a way that I never have found him before. As mushy gushy as that sounds, it is so true. I feel in my heart, that someone is watching over me. Even though sometimes, it may be easier to not believe that life has a way of working itself out.. it really does. For the better. It's like that song in Wicked that Glinda and Elphaba sing towards the end of the show called "For Good"... " Because I knew you, I have been changed for good". The people that come in and out of life are there for reasons unknown to us. There is some ultimate plan that the universe has deemed necessary. I suppose the point to this entire post is I am ready to love myself. I've learned so much already these last few weeks about life and love, happiness. Yet, I have so much more to learn.

Reality and 2013

Welcome to Reality,

    It is a new year, with new hopes and expectations. Those little resolutions that sounded so wonderful while toasting with champagne are now little things nagging you're brain as you catch up on sleep from an exciting night. As many times as I say "this is going to happen", deep down i know that it most likely won't. My resolutions to work out and to eat a certain way never do, but as I mentioned in my previous post, there are things that I can make sure happen ( and already are). It's time to give back to myself, beginning with enriching my mind in a world of literature and encouraging thought. I have a whole slew of books and things I want to read (Including this month's Cosmo.. .). I don't want to just read romance novels with dashing, strong, sexy men  in them and enticing stories that lead to a happily ever after... I want to read those books that everyone says you should read, but deep down you know you won't get to it. For example: "The Awakening" by Kate Chopin has been on my kindle for almost a year now, and I still have not picked it up. "Wuthering Heights" by Emily Bronte has also made it's way onto my kindle, but alas, has not been touched. It is the award winning novels that make it onto the best sellers list that I long to be reading and challenging myself with. Although, I still love a good romance novel... even if it is the cheesy Harlequin Romance books. So after I pondered these new goals for myself, I spent NYE watching my recent ex of three years flirting with other girls and was wallowing in my own self pity for awhile, but today I have turned a new leaf. We finally gave each other our stuff back at this gorgeous snow covered little park with deer back in the small trail I found while waiting for him to show up. I turned my music up a little bit, and listened to Natalie Weiss' rendition of "quiet" from the musical Thirteen Stories Down. The subtle increase in emotion in Natalie's voice combined with the soft falling of the snow seemed so magical for such a heartbreaking event in my life.  I cried as I walked away, without saying goodbye and went back into the simple routine of hating myself and what my life turned into. As I went into Biggby coffee a few hours after leaving the park, I met up with a friend who soon put things into a different perspective for me. Yes, breaking up with someone who took over your life for three years is difficult, but the future holds so many wonderful things for me. I have a fresh start ahead with transferring to a new school and trying new things. My friends have not left me because I am no longer in a relationship, they love me just the same. I suppose the question I need to ask myself is what do I want out of life? My previous NYE goals just contained simple things that don't necessarily make myself feel better. So, today as I sit here writing for you all, I am beginning to think of all the things I want to become this next year. I think that becoming a strong, independent woman who can provide for herself and doesn't need a man to make her happy. So today I turn a new leaf. I am truly going to move on. It's time. There is no more time to be living in the past and wallowing in my despair. With this new year I ring in not necessarily a new "me", I ring in a new point of view, a new beginning, and a new sense of self and love for myself. On that note, I leave you all with good tidings and wishes for this wonderful year. Happy New Year!
   

With the falling of the first snow....

        It has finally snowed here in my hometown! I am so excited to be able to watch my three beautiful puppy dogs play in it and to feel that Christmas cheer. Has it felt like Christmas to you? It hasn't to me. Watching my mother wrap gifts with the falling snow out the window this morning was a total wake up call. CHRISTMAS IS IN FOUR DAYS?! I mean yeah, the advent calendar with the little chocolate candies in it has been utilized in my home this year and I got all of my shopping done and spent way too much money like always (I've always been a giver...) and yet for some reason it has not felt like the holiday season. Maybe the turn of events in my life has to do with this. Maybe the fact that my lovely home was without snow for months. Maybe, just maybe, my mind has been too preoccupied with other things. I've been reading by the tree for days now with the fireplace on... and drinking hot chocolate, been to an ugly Christmas sweater party, bought gifts, decorated gingerbread men and still has not felt like the holiday season. Perhaps the thought of the world ending was too prevalent in my mind to be able to truly enjoy this season. Before we know it, Christmas will be over and it will be New Years Eve, with sparkly outfits and sparkling juice. I don't care about drinking on NYE, as long as there is sparkling juice, I will forever be content.


         As I mentioned above, my time has been spent eating, shopping, watching youtube videos, pinning on Pinterest and of course: reading by the fireplace and Christmas Tree. I just finished this cute book called " Three Girls and A Baby" by Rachel Schurig (you can buy it here on Amazon). This link is the free kindle edition. (everything is better free, right?) I have found so many free books on amazon lately, that it is absolutely ridiculous. I think that I probably purchased 17 books for free yesterday for free.... But anyway, back to the book. This story begins with the life of Ginny, a young woman who is heart broken and soon finds out she is pregnant! It is a classic baby daddy drama, finding love kind of story. It is charming and probably one of my new favorite books. I wish I was better at book reviews.. which is silly because I'm doing a list of my favorite books for you guys. I'm excited to start working again to get money so I can purchase the next two books in the series. I found this out when I was looking up book information to post in this post... Hopefully I can review it and give you guys some news about that.
         Besides reading, My latest obsession has been pinning on Pinterest. (If you have never been to Pinterest, Click here...)  It is like a blog, but with pictures and is fantastic. I went crazy on food recipies last night. You can tell how badly I want to plan events and weddings considering my wedding board is overflowing with pins of gorgeous dresses and set ups and other tips for weddings. You can find me on Pinterest here! You can just say I am obsessed. Because let's face it. I am. Happy Friday Everyone! :)

New Found Freedoms: the perks of being single

I guess this whole being single thing is actually going to be a wonderful experience. As a newbie to the college life... ( One semester in... WOOHOO!), It is important to learn how to deal with life and who you truly are. It has almost been a month since I've become single and I know it takes time to heal, but I think I actually might be enjoying this... I have learned more about myself and grown up so quickly this past semester than I think I ever have. Okay, So. The things I have learned...

•  I want to be sophisticated and looked upon as one who knows what she is doing... even in times when I have no clue as to what I am doing. 
•  I enjoy reading on my kindle with a warm blanket, the fireplace and a cup of tea. My current favorite is Celestial's Wild Berry. It's sweet but not too sweet. Totally delicious, especially if you aren't a citrus fan.. like me!
• It is totally okay to splurge every once and a while. Especially if it is something you have been looking at for forever!
• The people who don't make an effort to stay in touch and treat you well are not worth having in your life. At all. 
• I am a total and complete nerd, and I am okay with that. 
• Add a complete oddball to the above statement :)
• God brings people in and out of your life for a reason and he does NOT have to explain the reasons why
• DON'T BUY YOUR COLLEGE BOOKS FROM THE SCHOOL BOOKSTORE
• the little things are not worth stressing out about, because these are just miniscule things in the scheme of life
• It is okay to want to be a fashionista. (New Year's Resolution?)
• my obsession with Vera Bradley, Lord of the Rings, Vampire Diaries and Twitter are all okay. 

I am so excited to be done with my first semester of college. It is such a milestone in life, and even though I am transferring, That is what life is about at this age, right? Finding your nitch and learning where you belong. I hope that next semester, even though I am living at home, I can continue to learn and grow. It is time I find out who I am, without my high school sweetheart by my side. If I meet someone along the way, then that is fantastic. For now, however, I will just have to trust myself and God.